We arrived back in the US at the end of the first week of February. The point of entry (PoE) we used was Los Angeles because the airline we wanted to fly across the US with didn't fly direct from San Francisco. I was sort of nervous when we got there because everything had been such a trial up until that point that I was expecting something to go wrong or to have to wait around for hours to be processed as a fiancée to a US Citizen on a K-1 visa. Much to my surprise and delight it was the easiest and quickest part of the process thus far. The immigration officer opened my sealed envelope with all my documents in it from the US consulate in Auckland and asked a few questions then took my fingerprints and a photo, stamped my passport, told me we had 90 days to marry and let me through.
It took us a few days to manage to get to the Town Clerk's office to apply for the marriage license and then there is a 3 day wait for the license to be issued. The day that it was ready we had booked an appointment with the Town Clerk to officiate the marriage and we were married that very morning on 16 February. It was just the 4 of us: the Town Clerk herself, my (now) father-in-law, the groom and me. We couldn't stop grinning at each other, hubby and I, throughout the ceremony. We just wore comfortable clothes and funnily enough I was wearing the very same top that I wore when I first met my husband back in 2010 at the airport. He had joked in the past that I should wear that top and some jeans when we got married because I had expressed how wasteful I felt it was to buy a lavish dress I would only wear once. The words that the Town Clerk (who had the same name as my late mother-in-law) used were beautiful and religiously ambiguous enough that we were comfortable and pleased with them. The Town Clerk then gave us 3 official copies of our marriage license with our brand-new name on it. We both changed our surname to a portmanteau combination of our father's surnames. I won't list it here since, as far as I know, we are the only two people in the world to have that surname.
Since days before the ceremony I had begun to prepare my Adjustment of Status (from K-1 fiancée to immigrant/permanent resident wife of a US Citizen) application documents. It's been about 2 weeks now since we were married and I finally, yesterday, sent off my package with all the documentation needed for this next stage. The package was huge and it took a long time to complete. While I was in the process of preparing it I actually applied for a Social Security Number (like an IRD number for NZ readers) and it arrived very quickly so I was able to include that information in my application. Now that I have an SSN I can apply for a bank account and a driver's license. I've never driven a car before but I have drive motorbikes and scooters for a few years so I think I'll be a good, defensive driver. I find it hard to imagine being comfortable driving a car - they're so big! I feel like it would be hard to gauge how close to other cars, the edge of the road and other objects each side of the car would be while driving. I don't even want to think about parking yet.
I'm not authorised to work or study in the US yet - those privileges are part of the approved permanent resident status perks - so I'm still chafing for that right. The next step in the process is to hear if US Citizen and Immigration Services receives and accepts my adjustment of status. Once that happens then they will give me an appointment for biometrics. After that I may or may not have another interview to establish that my marriage in genuine and I'm not an undesirable immigrant. I think that's their reasoning, anyway, but they don't give any details on the purpose of much of their requests. Anyway, hopefully one interview is enough and that will be the final hurdle until I have to renew my permanent residency 21 months (it lasts 24 but you have to apply again 90 days before it runs out) and ask for the conditions to be removed.
Immigration to the US is certainly not for the faint of heart or people who can't stomach paperwork. If I had known all the work involved ahead of time then I might have looked for another way to be with husband. But, as it stands, I still don't know how we could have done it an easier way. Our circumstances don't leave much opportunity for flexibility. Hopefully things will change and there may be a time, if we so decide, that we can move back to New Zealand. But the foreseeable future is here so I guess I should start getting used to it.
Tuesday, February 28, 2012
Wednesday, February 1, 2012
Against My Better Judgement
Every time I tell someone that I am in the process of emigrating to the USA I am invariably asked: "Why?" This isn't just by my fellow Kiwis, by the way. I was asked this by fiance's therapist, his physician, his medication doctor, his father and his minister - all of whom are US Citizens. If, they say, we have more friends, family, social opportunity, access to all the benefits of an international city, public transportation and job opportunities in New Zealand then why are we going to live in the US?
The answer is that fiance isn't in a place in his life where he would be able to emigrate to NZ. His mother passed away in January, he has yet to have his first permanent paying job, he's not yet financially independent and he wouldn't be able to prove to NZ immigration that he wouldn't become a burden to the state. I, also, am not in any state to take on the role of being his financial support. I am not currently employed (though if I weren't leaving NZ in less than a week I'm sure I could quickly rectify that situation), I don't have any savings and I do have a sizeable student loan debt. Clearly, I could not convince the NZ government that I would be able to support him since I'm not even supporting myself at this moment in time.
I know that this is our only option, at present, if we want to be together physically in the same location for an extended period of time. But even though I know all of this; something feels amiss.
I thought that I would be relieved and happy once I had the fiancee visa in hand and knew for certain what direction my life was going to take from this point forward. Instead I feel that I am going against every logical thought and subconscious instinct for survival that I have ever been taught or picked up in my short life-time so far. It was quietly disconcerting to be constantly asked why on earth I would even contemplate moving to live in a place that many people I know don't even want to visit - let alone live - but I managed to brush it off and people seemed to understand when I explained the situation to them. But now it just seems to be more evidence to give credence to the feeling that I am making a catastrophic mistake.
I've met at least half a dozen US born NZ residents who said that it was their dream to live in New Zealand and now that they are here it is all they ever wanted and more. I honestly cannot imagine saying that about the US at any point in time. Much of the social sentiment there that is portrayed in the slanted media is diametrically opposed to all my personal feelings and beliefs. Even our slanted media here in NZ is not as far fetched. It's undeniable that the US has more crime, poorer primary and secondary education (1-12 grade), more expensive tertiary (college) education and is much more of a political target for international crime such as terrorism than tiny, relatively unimportant NZ. As an example: the Global Peace Index of 2011 puts NZ at 2 (the lower the more peaceful) just after Iceland who took the number 1 spot and the USA is at 82 - 2 points higher than The People's Republic of China at 80. Minimum wage in Massachusetts is lower than NZ minimum wage (even after converting the currency) and worker's rights are poorer from what I have researched.
Don't get me wrong; NZ is far from perfect. But I do, in some respects, acknowledge the fact that I am down-grading. In other areas I am upgrading - I may be able to make more money there simply because US dollars are worth more. But I may find that I need a Bachelor of the Arts degree, at the very least, to make the sort of money I would need to offset the increased cost of living. Getting that degree, without government aid which I won't likely be entitled to while a mere resident, will be a lot more costly and likely more difficult. I may also need a minimum wage job to begin with to gain a local referee for my resume.
I guess the moral of the story is that I don't really know what I am doing. I'm just throwing my cards into the wind and hoping that some of them will turn up Aces. Looking back at April of 2011 I seemed to be a lot more zen about it than I feel right now. Here's a quote from a tongue in cheek FAQ that I wrote up for my friends and family to read:
"Q. Aren't you worried about [insert stereotype of US culture here]?!"
"A. Not really. With common sense and awareness of my surroundings I think I can keep myself out of trouble. Like attracts like, I believe, so if I'm calm and reasonable then likely those around me will be too."
I guess my problem at the moment is that I don't feel calm or reasonable. I'd better do some meditation before I get to that TSA check-point in Los Angeles.
The answer is that fiance isn't in a place in his life where he would be able to emigrate to NZ. His mother passed away in January, he has yet to have his first permanent paying job, he's not yet financially independent and he wouldn't be able to prove to NZ immigration that he wouldn't become a burden to the state. I, also, am not in any state to take on the role of being his financial support. I am not currently employed (though if I weren't leaving NZ in less than a week I'm sure I could quickly rectify that situation), I don't have any savings and I do have a sizeable student loan debt. Clearly, I could not convince the NZ government that I would be able to support him since I'm not even supporting myself at this moment in time.
I know that this is our only option, at present, if we want to be together physically in the same location for an extended period of time. But even though I know all of this; something feels amiss.
I thought that I would be relieved and happy once I had the fiancee visa in hand and knew for certain what direction my life was going to take from this point forward. Instead I feel that I am going against every logical thought and subconscious instinct for survival that I have ever been taught or picked up in my short life-time so far. It was quietly disconcerting to be constantly asked why on earth I would even contemplate moving to live in a place that many people I know don't even want to visit - let alone live - but I managed to brush it off and people seemed to understand when I explained the situation to them. But now it just seems to be more evidence to give credence to the feeling that I am making a catastrophic mistake.
I've met at least half a dozen US born NZ residents who said that it was their dream to live in New Zealand and now that they are here it is all they ever wanted and more. I honestly cannot imagine saying that about the US at any point in time. Much of the social sentiment there that is portrayed in the slanted media is diametrically opposed to all my personal feelings and beliefs. Even our slanted media here in NZ is not as far fetched. It's undeniable that the US has more crime, poorer primary and secondary education (1-12 grade), more expensive tertiary (college) education and is much more of a political target for international crime such as terrorism than tiny, relatively unimportant NZ. As an example: the Global Peace Index of 2011 puts NZ at 2 (the lower the more peaceful) just after Iceland who took the number 1 spot and the USA is at 82 - 2 points higher than The People's Republic of China at 80. Minimum wage in Massachusetts is lower than NZ minimum wage (even after converting the currency) and worker's rights are poorer from what I have researched.
Don't get me wrong; NZ is far from perfect. But I do, in some respects, acknowledge the fact that I am down-grading. In other areas I am upgrading - I may be able to make more money there simply because US dollars are worth more. But I may find that I need a Bachelor of the Arts degree, at the very least, to make the sort of money I would need to offset the increased cost of living. Getting that degree, without government aid which I won't likely be entitled to while a mere resident, will be a lot more costly and likely more difficult. I may also need a minimum wage job to begin with to gain a local referee for my resume.
I guess the moral of the story is that I don't really know what I am doing. I'm just throwing my cards into the wind and hoping that some of them will turn up Aces. Looking back at April of 2011 I seemed to be a lot more zen about it than I feel right now. Here's a quote from a tongue in cheek FAQ that I wrote up for my friends and family to read:
"Q. Aren't you worried about [insert stereotype of US culture here]?!"
"A. Not really. With common sense and awareness of my surroundings I think I can keep myself out of trouble. Like attracts like, I believe, so if I'm calm and reasonable then likely those around me will be too."
I guess my problem at the moment is that I don't feel calm or reasonable. I'd better do some meditation before I get to that TSA check-point in Los Angeles.
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